New blog page

Well, I’ve got a new blog page – this one will remain available as an archive, but from now on, check out overflow of when i hear Him for the new stuff.  (the address is www.heartheoverflow.wordpress.com)

blessings!

Looking towards the Light

It`s funny how sometimes it hurts a bit to step out there in different seasons. Sometimes silence is just a bit more comfortable than words that are not confirmed by immediate reality. There is always that little bug behind your ear telling you to wait until reality confirms your words to then say it, otherwise it might really not come to pass and then you`d just look stupid. That little bug is the Devil, by the way. I guess it took me some time to get that.

I haven`t posted anything in a while, and I’ve been kinda holding myself back because even in my personal life there is a major turning point only about 8 days from now, and I still don’t know in a concrete reality what will happen. I only know by faith that the Will of God will be accomplished, but our fleshly man sometimes is not really satisfied with the substance of faith. But faith is as solid a substance as anything else in this world. More even. But for this temporal uncertainty in my personal life, I realized that it would be safer for my ego to just wait a bit and let the reality get conformed to what already is assured in my spirit before I stepped out there and even posted anything of what God has been dealing with me this season.

I guess I’ll start off this post by waging war against my own comfort and declaring that the reality of heaven is much more real than the one of the earth. That even though I am 8 days away of a great unknown I already know the way I’ll walk by because He has whispered that to me at the tip of my ears. Even though the hill i’ve been climbing seems to have come to an end, He told me that He’s made a bridge upon which I can walk. And even though I can’t see it, I’ll just keep walking. It’ll just lead me to the other side again. Jesus, boldly and unashamedly I declare this: I trust you – simply because you are worthy.

There is something so precious to be learned in uncertainty in life. It teaches us to be just like a child. You know what’s cool about a child? There’s that common thing that kids love to play: They climb this high place and then call their dad to come pick them up. The dad holds the arms opened, and say to them: Jump! What i love about kids is that they do. They jump. They jump, climb up again, and keep their dads busy a whole day if they have the chance playing that game of trust.

I don’t know about you but I see the big widely opened arms of my Daddy, and hear his awesome invitation. Jump on son! So many times we have to take that leap in life, we might as well learn to enjoy it.

I’ve been meditating so much about faith on these uncertain weeks of my life, and I feel like there’s a whole pool of it about ready to burst out of me. Funny thing is none of my reality has aligned with it yet. I don’t care. It doesn’t even have to.

This week the faith story that kinda gripped me was Jesus raising Lazarus from the Dead. That sentence that Jesus told Martha, “If you believe you will see the Glory of God” is so deeply being printed on my spirit… I just heard it resounding within me, and I went to read over the text again… And, as I was meditating upon it, God just shone light in a new thing for me, and I’d just like to share that with you guys. It’s in John 11, by the way.

Well, Jesus needed to get to Lazarus, who was dead and needed to be raised so that the son of Man could be glorified. In order to do that He’d have to go back to the Land of Judah, to Bethany, close to Jerusalem. And that was just not very humanly “wise” of him, because all the Religious there wanted to kill him. The religious leaders were angry with Jesus, and were conspiring for his death because He was making too big of a fuss in their midst.

When He says that He has decided to face the uncertainty of that path for the sake of love and to glorify the Father, his disciples flipped. How could he go back there? I mean, there was a chance that the Religious people would find him and want to kill him! And then what Jesus says is so cool.

“Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. “But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.”” (John 11:9-10 NKJV)

Before I make my point, let me put here this other verse…

“Moreover You led them by day with a cloudy pillar, And by night with a pillar of fire, To give them light on the road Which they should travel.” (Nehemiah 9:12 NKJV)

It’s so interesting that Jesus did not say “who ever walks by day sees the road.” He said “Whoever walks by day sees the LIGHT of the world”. And there is a big difference between seeing the light and seeing the road. Have you ever walked in a desert? there is no path for you to see. Israel walked forty years in the desert, and there were no streets for them to know how to get there. But God gave them a light.

Looking down towards the ground would do them no good, because in the desert there are no determined streets. Their eyes would have to be on the light. On the fire. In the desert, seeing the ground means nothing. Seeing the light means knowing how to get there. Watching the earth means nothing. Having your eyes fixed on heaven means everything.

That was why Jesus was not afraid. There was no road for him to see ahead of him. He was walking right into uncertainty going back to Bethany on that moment. But he saw the light. He had his eyes fixed on God’s eyes. He saw the light, therefore he could walk right into the greatest uncertainty and not fear.

“A Psalm of David. The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalms 27:1 NKJV)

The book of Revelation says that Jesus’ eyes are like a flame of fire. I believe that the Pillar of Fire that followed the Israelites in the desert were the very fiery eyes of Jesus, watching over the apple of His eyes. Every time the Israelites looked up towards the fire, their eyes locked with Jesus’ – and that’s when they knew they were safe.

Beloved, those who walk without light have all the reason to be insecure and fearful. But we not only walk in daylight, we have the light within us. Jesus dwells in us. How incredible is that? Just like the people in the desert, we can just lock gazes with him and feel safe.

Don’t waste your time trying to figure the road out. It’s not doable. Look to the fire. Look to the light of the World. Look to heaven, and that fire of love will draw the map on the sky for you not to get lost.

Just get fascinated with Him. It will do it.

These have been some busy couple of weeks, and I haven’t posted anything in a while. But I just feel like I should blog some to share some inner dealings of God with me on these busy couple of weeks. 

Isn’t it incredible how a busy day turns into a couple, a couple into a week, a week into two, and then when you see it time is slipping out of your hands again. I love busy days – I just hate when busyness steals life away. And I kinda realized that real life is before the face of God – those precious moments when He’s around. No better life than that. In order for you to be busy and still have a life (the real one), you need to have so much willpower – willpower that kinda failed me this week. 

In one of my first blogs of the year I posted this impression I had – more like certainty – that one of the greatest struggles would be against a spirit of heaviness. Man, I wish sometimes I read my blogs more and paid more attention to my messages. Talk about spirit of heaviness that was upon me this week. It gave me some more clarity about how it works, but I sure wish I had gotten my clarity out of the bible and not out of personal experience on this one. So, here goes some of the stuff impressed upon me this week:

First of all, I noticed that a spirit of heaviness looks, just like every other spirit, for a gap. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a sin – it can just be a gap. Being tired for not administrating wisely the time is one huge one. To quote some others: being late for a service, having an easy to offend heart and hearing a sour word from a friend, or even from a stranger, sleeping bad. All these things can just be the little gap that will allow a spirit of heaviness to block you. 

The second thing is that this very thing – blocking you – is the very purpose of this thing. It wants to shut down your spirit. It wants to stop your flow. Put rocks on your well. Hide you in a cave instead of allowing you to go pour some oil on some kings’ heads. It wants to block your effectiveness. But, the cool thing about this spirit is that it does not necessarily put trials and tribulations hindering us from our effectiveness, because it knows that most likely trials and tribulations will cast us into deeper pursuit of God, which will increase our effectiveness by exponential ways. So, instead of trying to hinder your effectiveness straight away – which would cause you to pray more, and consequently, be more effective – it goes the other way around. It starts blocking your relationship with God, and then your effectiveness goes down the drain in a split second. 

That little tiny thing that happens just before you have your time with God just opens that little tiny gap for that little tiny restlessness and boredom mixed together with impatience. Well, most of us are used to having to overcome our flesh in order to enter in. That’s what pressing through is all about. But then, it’s strategy is so tricky. It gets allied with a spirit of condemnation, and it starts placing upon you the impression that, “of course it’s not flowing, look what terrible human being you are”. Or maybe, even more effective, it boycotts the overcoming impulse inside of you by suggesting “I’m just so dry today”. We pick up the suggestion, and accept our dryness. 

I felt an inversion towards the Word of God in the beginning of this season. Usually we had to flow first to then get the word as a living stream. I felt when this season began that the Lord was inverting the order, to call our attention to the Word. The Word would be a living stream that would cause us to flow. It’s actually one of the main weapons against this spirit, because the Living Word IS Jesus, and it REVEALS Jesus, which causes us to WORSHIP (garments of praise for our heaviness). 

So, to block our attempt to use the Word as a life-giving venue to encounter God, this spirit suggests when we feel the inclination to reach out to our bibles, “oh, I’m just so dry, what’s the point. I’ve got to be flowing to go to the bible, otherwise it will just be dead word”. And we don’t remember that God caused this gentle inversion in our relationship with the Bible to facilitate our reaching out to Him, and just accept the suggestion and don’t take our bibles. (Oh, without the spirit the letter is always death – but the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, and what I mean by “inversion” is not that God changed this verse and now we can become bible doctors and go to heaven, but that the Spirit of God is increasing our connection through the Living Word with less effort.) Incredible but every single time that I was feeling dry but still overcame the suggestions and went to my bible my heart came alive again. 

I have some more on this season that the Lord was sharing with me just yesterday, but I think I’ll leave that for another post. Maybe tomorrow. 

So – press through in the word of God until your heart beats out of it’s rhythm and is blown away when you see little pearls of Jesus’ nature through His word. And then stay there for a while, just dwelling upon that new face of the one you love. That warm feeling of love that we call worship will war against the spirit of heaviness while you have the best time loving the one who loves you. 

It’s so simple. I just have to remember it. Just allow yourself to be fascinated with Him. It will do it.

A river whose streamS make glad the city of God

Isn’t Jesus just so amazing? To think that all through eternity He will be worshiped, and that there is enough beauty and glory in Him to amaze us and cause us to worship (not as an obligation, but as an overflow of our awe) for the billions and billions of years to come. He is just so great.

Right now we are entering the season of intensified preparations to receive Him and the fullness of His kingdom upon the earth. And during this season, my heart is being impressed with Ephesians 1:10 “That in the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth – in Him”, and also Ephesians 3:19 “…the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God”.

Ephisians is such an amazing epistle. Paul is writing to the church about a revelation that he’s received, about God uniting in one all things in Christ. This was a sign of the Kingdom that was coming down from heaven, and would forever be established on the earth. God will dwell among man forever. There will be no separation between heaven and earth when this age turns, and writing this letter I can just imagine Paul wondering on the wisdom of God that He would even set several prophetic examples of unity through Jesus: No longer separation between Jews and gentiles, no longer separation between ministries and functions in the church. We are all one single body, with one single head – just as earth will be one single earth and a integral part of the reality of earth will be heaven, just as an integral part of the body is the head. No separation. Tabernacle of David kind of Picture – God right in the middle of us.

The season is turning, and we are “fully” approaching the Fullness of Times. Even though we’ve lived as a prophetic picture of the fullness of times all throughout church history, it will all culminate in the Return of Jesus. Just like the Tabernacle and kingdom of David surely was a place of Glory and surely was a kingdom, and David surely lived out the prophecies concerning his kingdom, but they were only a shadow of the mayor fulfillment which took place when the Living Tabernacle called Jesus Christ walked on the earth for 33 years. We’re living the restoration of the Tabernacle of David for a long time already, even through the proclamation of this truth has increased in our generation, it has been true for 2.000 years, since the apostles realized it and established it when the gentiles started to come to salvation, in Acts 15. We’ve been living a prophetic picture, just as the Tabernacle of David was a 33 years long prophetic picture of the first coming, we’ve been living a centuries long prophetic picture of a Kingdom that will have no end. We’re called to, just as David demonstrated the Coming Messiah in his life and reign, in our days demonstrate the Coming kingdom. That was what the life of the Apostles was all about – demonstrate the kingdom that was coming, and establishing the highway for that kingdom to ride upon when it came.

But, i feel it is necessary to focus on the FULLNESS part. We are reaching fullness of time, and we will be filled with the fullness of God, our light will shine as the dawn until full day, and we will be made into a perfect man, into the measure of the stature of the FULLNESS of Christ. Fullness is a key for us to understand prophetically this season.

I don’t know about you, but I’m the internet/podcasts/blogs kinda-guy, and I always open my ears wide to listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches through ministries and people that I respect and recognize as prophetic and apostolic voices for our generation. When this new season broke in, what I had heard from the Spirit matched and was completed by some of the things I heard through my podcasts (thank you Jesus for Itunes, GodTV, and everything else), and I felt deeply encouraged and assured. Nevertheless, some weeks passed and i started perceiving some conflict between the proclamations being made to the Bride. Some saying one thing, and others saying something else. And it’s on this point I felt like i should blog about, just to share the sense I made about this in the Lord.

Beloved, the bible is the most amazing prophetic book in all of creation, in all of new creation, in all eternity past and future. In Revelation 19 when Jesus cracks the sky right before John’s eyes, the guy looks at that awesome king, and he freaks out, and says “And His name is the Word of God”. There is nothing as glorious as the Word of God. It never contradicts itself. Beloved, if you find any contradiction in the Bible, you’re not aware of your history. Oh, this one prophet says to resist and fight, this other says to surrender. That doesn’t make any sense. Well, only if you don’t realize that these two things happened during different seasons. If you take the prophetic scriptures that apply to the current season of history you’re looking at, nothing will ever be in contradiction.

That applies to every single principle of Scripture, and it even seems that Jesus himself makes it and likes it like that. He came the first time as a silent Lamb, and said “I did not come to bring peace, but the sword”. HE’ll rend the heavens on the second coming as the Prince of Peace, and start making war against those who destroy the earth. He is the Lion and the Lamb. He is Love and Goodness, and He is Righteousness and Justice. But these things are not at all a contradiction. If you’re seeing contradiction between these things, you’re not really discerning the seasons and times as you should.

Right now all over the Body God is raising people who will proclaim that the Judge is coming to judge the earth. Beloved that is true. There are also those proclaiming that the Good God is bringing righteousness and peace and joy through his church right now to the planet. Beloved, that is so true. If we disregard one message over the other, we’re not discerning the times we’re in. If we’re allowing the Proclamation of God’s goodness demise the Truth about God’s judgements, we are acting like little children who don’t know the times and seasons. If we are allowing the proclamation of God’s judgements demise the truth about his Goodness, we’re acting like little children who don’t discern the times and seasons. Why? Beloveds, what is the purpose of this whole season we’re entering in? Getting us to the FULLNESS of Christ. Fullness is the key to clarity in revelation in this our.

So, for those of you guys who like me have open noses to smell the waters flowing through wireless connections, have in mind that the word for this season is fullness. Some houses will give stronger focus on determined things, and others on others, because we are all different and have different callings and identities in the Lord. But, if one house, or if one message, despises the other or has a spirit of pride or superiority, in the very least that is a sign of immaturity and lack of discernment. My personal approach, is get from every proclamation and every message you hear, the things that will cause you to be more extreme in every sense. Don’t hold nothing back. Hear about the goodness of God and your responsibility not to wait for the Millennial Kingdom to see righteousness on the earth, and run for it! Heal the sick, preach the gospel. Don’t wait -but don’t become a little party time christian faithful in the glory and without a single root in your tree to support you if a wind blows. Likewise, hear about the coming judgements and the glory of the unshakable Kingdom that we’ll be a part of with Jesus, and run for it! Get prepared, fast and pray, give yourself to the long years of desert-like preparation in poorness of spirit. Just don’t become a depressed christian with a tendency to see the bad only. Put some oil on your hair, a smile on your face, and go for it!

For those of you guys who are in the proclaiming side of things, know that we only see in part, and only in the FULLNESS of the BODY we have a picture of what Jesus really looks like. We can’t think we’ve understood it all of Him. It will take us eternity, beloveds. Don’t allow the devil to make you compromise a revelation of Jesus Christ by denying one aspect of His character in order to make the whole more acceptable. All of the bible is true, and we’ve been commissioned as proclaimers of the unsearchable riches of Christ. That is a responsibility that we should not compromise in any of our words.

I was just reading a feed of one of those places I keep my ears opened to, and I read a bible verse there that i’ll use here to end this thing. I think it says everything:

“There is A river, whose streamS shall make glad the city of God” Psalm 46:4a

 

In Him – the Lion and the Lamb, the Beginning and the End,

Rod

Touching Him, and remembering Eternity…

Ok – it’s already 12:40, and it’s officially not my birthday anymore. I’m so tired, and my eyes are burning with that feeling of “would you go to bed already”. But I just have to write before this day is over.

Jesus found me when I was almost 15 years old (so, about 5 to 6 years ago). On a wednesday night, while i was minding my own business surrounded by people who were praising God and praying, and who actually were able to call the presence of God in a way that he responded. He sat by me in the couch, and said hi. That single “hi” ruined my life forever. I remember i saw this endless ocean right above my head, and then just a tiny tiny tiny tiny little drop slipped down from that ocean and hit me in the top of the head. When that happened it was like… joy unspeakable and full of glory. In one second I went from being the little skeptical teen-ager believer’s son to someone who actually loved Jesus. All my boredom went away in a second, and I jumped to my feet, started dancing and singing, and thinking to myself: “if this is what only one drop of this ocean can do, I imagine what all of that water will do to me”. 

God was so faithful, that now I look back and I almost can’t believe it. He set me up, from the beginning, to be around people who could always push me forward. I am so thankful that He gave me a spiritual family, so full of precious examples from which i could learn. He let me walk close to pastor Simone and evangelist Ricardo, a couple that are two of the most important people in my life. They cast vision into me from the very beginning. They believed in me in such a clear and loving way – they believed in me being founded on reality. The reality that saw all my mistakes, and not ignored them. The reality that saw all my qualities, and perfected them. The reality that knew how to spare me from the good, to lead me to the best. I am so thankful. 

You know, having been brought up spiritually in a atmosphere of Glory, surrounded by people who love God more than life, gave me so many dreams and hopes… Since I was fourteen my dreams went from being a Lawyer, to being a friend of God. Oh, how I love that change. I remember I used to picture the future and see greatness in it – not greatness before man, but closeness to God. I used to dream of just being His friend. And having a successful ministry life that overflowed out of that. 

I remember being a little 16 year old, being trained in the word, and when they would ask me to share I would always hit on the same things – worship, loving God, holiness, because God is going to use our generation. Because we will see what no eye has seen. Why is it that being a teen-ager is a hindrance to being used by God? It is not! We can know Him! We can Love Him! I used to just love to proclaim that. The very first thing I ever preached was Esther! We need to get prepared and not be like spoiled old Vashti – but endure preparations to be before Him, because we we’re chosen for such a time as this!! I loved it! 

And I still do. But something happened to me today. I have been consumed in thinking about this these past few weeks. Today, I’m no longer a teen-ager. The 6 years that I would see as eternity ahead of me, went by like a single second. 
I am so thankful for the tiny love with which I love Jesus. That is His gift for me. But when I was 16 I used to see me at 20 loving Jesus with everything, holding nothing back. And yet, I look into myself and see so many things that are mine, and not His. I used to look at myself at the age of 20 being so much more mature in the Word – and yet I still see myself in struggles that are grounded in lack of roots. I used to see myself living much more of the kingdom, and yet today I’m still trying to figure out what the kingdom is all about when it comes knocking on my door.

The 6 years I thought would never pass have passed. And this has made me burn again beloved. I feel like Thomas. I feel like Jesus is extending his pierced hands to me, and taking my hands to His side, and making me touch them. He’s impacting me with the fact that He is really real. The resurrection is a reality. He is coming back, soon. Don’t be unbelieving Rod, but believe. Believe that every word in that big black book is true, and live out what you believe. 
I feel like this is a general word for us this season. This is a season of grace. This is a season of rededication. No matter how much you’ve burned in the past, beloved, recommit yourself to burn more from now on. No matter whatever years you’ve given Him, commit yourself to give him the next ones… This is the most important season we’ve ever lived as a corporate bride. He is renewing our focus, and calling us back to that physical reality, so close and clear, of his burning love for us. 

I don’t know if anyone younger than me will read this blog, but if you are, let me tell you – this season in my life has renewed my zeal for God, but also for you. I still believe that nothing stops a teen-ager from being a friend of God, to deeper levels than we would ever dream of, aside from himself. The only one that can stop you is you. The only one that can make you waist time is yourself. I will no longer hide that truth, just as it was not hidden from me. I think the church has given enough wine to our Nazirites. We’ve given them enough dissolution, enough excuses, enough programs and distractions. It is time that we tell them the truth. 
You are called to give it all away. You are called to die to yourself and to your pleasures, and I don’t care if you’re 12. Jesus at the age 12 had more intimacy with the Father through the word than all the long-bearded grownups. And don’t come with the excuse that He was God, because, yes, He was, is, and forever will be God, but He subjected himself to the same circumstances as you, exactly the same, so that he would be an example to you, and not your excuse. Beloved, don’t waist time. Don’t wait ’till you get as old as you thought you would be to find out you’re not as in love with Him as you thought you would be. Give it all now. Don’t waist time, please. He is at the tip of His throne, looking at you little tiny ones, and yearning to choose the things that are not – or, to put it better, to manifest his choice, because He’s already chosen you. 

The same way i say to those my age and older, this season has also renewed my zeal for you. We’ve waisted enough time. There is no need for any other appeal i think. We all know this is true. And, beloved, this is such a good time. It’s a time of mercy. Don’t give any other excuses not to believe, and not to act. He’s offering us His hands to touch. Let’s give him everything. Please, let’s give him everything. 

My Beloved, above everything else this season has renewed my zeal for You. You are my only treasure, and I have nothing else but you. I ask you to help me surrender everything. Help me to be faithful all the days of my life. God, these first 20 years of life have been only a small small small little taste of the glory I want you to receive from my life. I commit to you the next 20 Jesus. You are worthy. You have prepared eternity for me. You have placed eternity in my heart so that I would fear you. Make me remember eternity every day Abba. I’m not living for this world, for anything that is corrupt or distorted. I’m living for a glorious kingdom, for a heavenly Jerusalem coming down from the Father. I’m living for that day when you’ll rend the heavens and come down. For that day when all will see you, and so will I Jesus. Oh, on that day, when I gaze into your eyes of fire, that I would see eyes that are satisfied.

Amen.

Well, now it’s already 1:30 am, and my communication skills already fail me severely. I was not even close to really pouring out what I’m feeling. And I also could not pass from just the overflow of my heart and get to the actual word God gave me for this time. But i do feel this is enough for now. I’ll say it as I’ve said it last time – i’ll post more soon. 
Just know this beloved – He Loves us. No matter how on fire we’ve always been – He loves us. No matter how lukewarm we’ve been lately – He loves us. The thing that will try to make you stop from giving yourself away as a serious and sober act of worship and as a decision for the next years of your life, is a spirit of heaviness. Beloved, close your eyes, and see His eyes of burning and all consuming fire. That fire is of love for you. Not many waters can quench that love. I assure you, when you get to that place of just stopping the traffic of your mind and staring straight into his love – in that very moment, vision will flood your heart for the things that need to be re-awakened.

This is the time. Let’s touch Him together. 
Love you all.

Falling in Love in 2009

The year has already turned, and my internet was off up until today. That made me very frustrated because there were somethings burning so brightly in my heart – and I just hate missing the timing of a word or even of a feeling, for that matter. I’m writing this note and If after I’m done writing it and reading it over again I feel like it’s honest to what is in my spirit, I’ll post it. If not, I’ll know I’ve missed the timing and then erase it.

I just feel I should contextualize first.

2008 was such a remarkable year. I think there was not a single month that went by without something extraordinary good happening and also something extraordinary hard. I feel like it was the beginning of a major choice that the Bride will have from now on – the choice to be offended. So many things happened, and facing every single one of them, my heart had to choose either to be offended or to be in love.

I feel like this is only a foretaste of what is building for 2009. There are major prophetical promises coming to fulfillment, but they are coming to fulfillment in such an incredible way and to such a deep extent, that they might offend our small little worlds built upon the personal interpretation of those very same promises. All of us, when we heard that the revival was coming in 2008, were so exited and happy. Many of us got offended with our Bride-Groom God when seeing the year come to an end and hearing the word in the mouth of the prophets turn from “this is the best year we’ve ever seen” to “thank God this year is almost over”. 2008 was really a year of new beginnings. So many things were ignited in the church world wide, specially in this revival context.

But there is one thing I’ve come to understand as 2008 was coming to an end: We so often open our hearts completely to the thought of revival, and just thinking about it makes us want to give it all away. And that is just awesome. God Loves to draw our hearts closer to Him and to woe us into the loving glimpses of his goodness and glory. But then our surrender starts bearing fruit and we start having some more of the things we are seeking after – and all of a sudden our hunger goes away. We have some worship that transcends our carnal struggles for several ours and we experience the glory and presence of God for some months on a consistent level and basis, and get settled in. Wee see some miracles and power demonstrations out of our own lives, and we stop being hungry for more. We want the same. It’s even cute sometimes, you know… it’s like, we’re this little kid who’s so hungry, and then all of a sudden he gets gum. Gum’s good, and I love it, but there’s a meal, chocolate, coca-cola, pizzas and chinese food – all these wonderful things just waiting to be experienced. But the kid just chews the gum, and wants to keep chewing the gum, and not eat some awesome sushi that is at the table. We get our miracles, our messages, our worship sets, our everything – that are just a small part of the big meal prepared for us – and we stop being hungry for the rest. So, in 2008 God offended us by causing us to be hungry again – by not really giving us where to settle.

And I feel that in 2009 He’s setting the standards higher than we could ever reach only by chewing Gum – He’s turning our eyes to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Beloveds, there is going to be a wedding. You know, we would never get settled in a good worship set if we just thought about how it’s going to be when our Lover returns, and for a thousand years we’ll worship Him with none of our carnality involved, with glorified bodies and not a single impure thought crossing our minds – and for eternity after that. For a thousand years as a Man on this earth in His glory completely uncovered before our eyes, we’ll never be able to settle in our justice movements when we think that our real life (not this little breath of maybe 80 years) we’ll be reigning with Him on a kingdom of righteousness peace and joy of the Holy Spirit. Heck, I’ll never get settled by being in Israel and thinking something out of myself, if I just think that our prize is that we would reign with Him from Jerusalem forever. Hah!

What i’m trying to say is: what is the purpose of revival? HIS RETURN! He may have offended some of us in 2008, but it was surely serving the real purpose: get our eyes on the real prize. Beloveds, real prize is not revival. Real prize is an eternal crown that we will cast at his feet and glorious everlasting intimacy with Him who is Worthy. Real prize is reigning with Him. Real prize is having no limitations between you and GOD. That is the prize we are running for. This is a massive word for 2009 and all the years after that – do not settle, until HE comes down. When He comes down His light will shine so brightly that for eternity there will be no night and no desire of ours to sleep. This is a year to set our eyes on the prize. Thank you, Abba – we are not offended.

I believe that offenses and dullness are maybe two of the most sharp strategies of the devil against us this year. Do not get offended at God. Jesus did not look like what the people expected when He first came, The Holy Spirit did not look like what the people expected in Pentecost, and not in any revival in History. Jesus is not going to come back as we expect, and His kingdom will not expand on this earth the way we plan. It will be wonderful, and we will always have a choice – we either get offended or surrender. Either we fall away, or fall in love. But all of us are going to fall before Him.

I was walking down a street the other day since this war in Gaza started (I’m way north, and far from it so far), and you can just feel a different spiritual atmosphere because of the war. I suddenly started feeling afraid even, and I started to pray as I walked: God, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE!!! And then I had this impression – not a vision, a impression – of Jesus, leaning on the tip of His throne, he was also crying out – but he was crying MERCY, MERCY, MERCY!!! And I realized that right now, peace and mercy are not the same things. We better get our prayers in alignment with His prayers, and cry for what He cries, so that the kingdom would come forth. I believe that all that is happening right now is surely mercy from God, even though it surely is not peace. Beloved, better that the enemies of God would repent than face eternal judgement. Better that the indifferent ones would be awakened, even if by the sound of a falling rocket, than to remain in darkness. In the process, everything shakes, but being shaken is a price you pay for agreeing with His heart – and whatever is upon Him will remain forever, and everything else will be shaken away. ((I am praying fervently and believing God for massive breakthroughs for the church and the oppressed in Gaza – that the church would grow in power and be light and salt right now, and that the oppressed would be safe and would come under the Leadership of Jesus, who is nothing like unrighteous leaders. The same way, I’m praying that the sufferings and fear on the cities of Israel under attack would bring forth fruits for the kingdom of Heaven, and that the Bride of Yeshua would be light and salt, and shine a dawn in the ones that are sleeping in religion. I pray that the unrighteousness in Israel, and the unrighteousness in all neighboring countries, and in all the earth, would be wiped out and that the Kingdom of God would be established, and not the kingdom of wicked man.)

So, in 2009, pay attention to God, because I feel He will often do things we did not expect.

Ok, I’ve got some more things on a more personal level, but i also think that they apply. But I feel like I should release it later on. What i wrote here were some of the feelings and impressions I’ve been getting, and the words behind these feelings and impressions (I mean, where I am basing myself on the Word to say this) I’ll post as the year goes on.

I’m very excited about 2009. I’m in love – and if we always choose to fall in love we won’t fall away and won’t miss any of the amazing things that His Heart has been dreaming for us on this year. Even though this post was on a warning tone, 2009 will be a fantastic year. We just need to be correctly aligned. Also something essential is to press through dullness and push towards revelation and towards the Lord. Push towards love, even if you fall – because you’ll fall on His arms.

Well, also, if you guys haven’t read it, my good friend Jamie Dickson wrote a very in tune word for 2009 (on his facebook). My spirit really agrees with all that he wrote, so take a look at that…

I pray you guys have a wonderful year of falling in love.

Love you! Rod

Blessed is HE who comes – even if He doesn’t come as we expect…

I’ve been a couple of weeks in Silence. 

Things in my personal life have never shook as they have been shaking, and maybe specially these last few weeks. And in the midst of all the shaking my little heart got torn up, confused and amazed at the same time. Confused because when the ground is shaking beneath your feet you tend to get a little dizzy. Amazed because Jesus is eternally unshakable. I think never in my life I had looked deep into my own human frailty and weakness as I have these days. I also think never has his strength been so clear and overwhelming and peaceful as it has been. 
It is just such a humbling experience to see your world falling apart, and the work of your hands slipping away, and your effort and dreams  - and then in that very moment being able to look at Jesus. And He is still there. And He is still standing, and so all of his dreams and the work of his hands. It just makes you fall in love with Him again.

It is awesome that everything in our lives has the sole purpose of leading us into the knowledge of Jesus. I believe that the shaking has been going around the church right now, so that we would know some more of Who Jesus Christ is. And He is like a mighty man of war, and He is waging war against temporal and corrupt wickedness, because He burns with an everlasting desire for a bride that is eternal – for a city whose builder is God himself, which is not subject to the instability of this earth, but is solely rooted and grounded in the Eternal Rock.  

You know, we just have to get our hearts in alignment with His. He is desirous to return in all glory, and have a great display of the kingdom of heaven to this dark world. Just like king Ahasuerus displayed the beauty of his kingdom to the peoples under his rule so it will be in the end of this age. That is what we are walking towards. For the most amazing display of the kingdom of heaven the world has ever experienced. And in the high peek of this display, our king will call forth His bride and queen, to be exposed to the nations wearing her crown. On the day of perfection His desire is that she would shine with his very authority before the nations. But beloveds, we have been distracted in our own party and in our own feast. Instead of wasting our lives in preparation for that one moment of exposure complete of His beauty in our bodies, we have been entertaining our guests and ourselves in the corruption of our programs and agendas. 

Oh, if we only understood the day for which we’re being prepared. We wonder why the Lord is banning away from our lives the Vashti-like areas. We wonder why would he be so harsh on us to the point of banning those areas forever out of his presence. We hurt and may even be grieved against him, because our hearts have become so numb to his beauty and majesty, that we almost consider his invitation into his presence as the demands of a drunkard that we don’t want to listen to. The fear of God has slipped away from our hearts, because his terrible and mighty Name (YEHOVA) has slipped away from our lips, and we’ve been calling him my Baal, my Baal (which literally translates to “my husband, my husband”) just like a tired wife who has lost love and kept the wring. We save the signs of our covenant but loose the heart of it. We drink the wine and eat the bread, but have no clue what it means to partake of his body and his blood. 

Oh, if we knew that his desire is that we would shine in His light. He’s looking right now for the starts (Esthers) who are willing to be set on flame in the darkness and silence of the desert on preparation. Looking for those who will risk their lives to enter into his presence even when they are not invited, instead of disregarding his pleading for our attention. Like stars that are willing to wait the sun to set, that are willing to wait for the season to change, for the world to be ready – to then shine (and not try to compete with the sun and come out before time). Those who the world will see as stinking desert camel-fur dressed against the current kind of people, but that to Him will smell like the pure myrrh they’ve been secretly soaking into. Those who are choosing to hide away from the spotlights of the world, so that all could come and in time, rejoice in their light.  Those stars that will shine the way for hungry wise man to find the real Light. Those stars that will shine all the way through the total deliverance of nations. 

You know, this week I saw this movie. A documentary about a very famous book out. It doesn’t really matter what book, because there are many like that now a days – books to teach you how to live your life under your total effort, and achieve all your desires. I would have so totally taken for granted the content of this book or of the movie, if it were not for some little things that kinda caught my attention. The first thing that captured my eyes was the endorsements that scientists and philosophers were giving to the theory of this book. It basically explains everything in the universe under a certain ‘law of attraction’. It basically says that the “universe” responds to your thoughts and brings you the answer to them. It is absolutely and incredibly believable, and completely wrong. It completely ignores the existence of God, and opens a wide rage of you being able to name the “universe” with whatever name you want – God, Higher Force, Universe, and whatever else. My spiritual senses got even more agitated when I started reading under the name of the people endorsing the power of the Universe titles like “Reverend”. Christian “Reverends” standing along with every other type of thinker and activist. One psychologist tells the story of his gay patient who discovered the power of the universe and started accepting his gay identity and all of his circumstances changes, and a few minutes after that the so called “Reverend” giving testimonies of the healing and miracles to and through people who understood the power of the universe (how people were coming out of wheel chairs and things like that). 

Beloveds, the first time the Messiah came, the religion was wanting war. Their hearts were tired of the heavy hand of Rome upon them, and they wanted a Messiah that would fit their program of being a free nation so that they could finally live in peace. He came to become our peace and to offer himself to die as a silent lamb and we were offended. Now, we want peace. Israel is a sovereign nation that wants to be left out of trouble. The church is prosperous and rich in most places, completely conformed to the world around us to the point that demonized people no longer get delivered in our churches – they feel better. We’re all crying out for peace and safety. Beloved, even we are. Shaking comes and we get sad and think about quitting. Persecution comes and we wonder where has God gone.

Oh, but there is just this understanding in my spirit right now – he is coming this time as a man of war, as a mighty man. And this war will be so intense and so cruel and so fueled by His affections for us, that the Glorious and Victorious Jesus on the white horse has blood splatters on His mantle. He’s coming for war, and He’s preparing us for it. Will we be offended? Why is it that many will fall away in the end? Because, just like in the beginning, the Messiah will not fit their expectations. What an unpopular message it is that the world will drop into the greater darkness that has ever been seen, and that will will be positioned as the church right in the middle of the very worst places – so that there we can shine the way again to the meekness and gentleness of the Humble God that will be available to those who surrender to Him. 

In the end of the day, we can always hear two things from the one thing that he speaks. When he’s shouting as a man of war, like a warrior overcome with wine – we can either get offended at him, or we can surrender. You know, the word “Mighty Man” is “Gibor”, and it means Hero. How much we surrender to Him and to His flame in these days will be directly determined to us getting this picture right. Either we see Him as a mighty man of war of whom we are afraid, or we see him as our Hero, and trust that when his sword pierces our lives and separates even until bone and marrow – that in that very moment, He is saving us from the sickness of this age (false peace) and ushering us into the Kingdom of unfailing love and beauty. 

Jesus, we receive your kingdom. Teach us to see you for who you are, and to understand your loving beauty. Strengthen us in the steadiness of your gaze while your sword pierces our hearts and makes us bleed for you. Oh, God, “ברוך הבא בשם אדוני” “Baruch habah, beShem Adonai” – Blessed is HE who comes in the Name of the Lord – even if He doesn’t come as I expect.

let us see the fire in your eyes, and the passion with which you desire us…

no need to make sense today…

Oh, what a week this was. My whole stay here in Israel has been divided by God into periods of three months, for reasons beyond what i could express here in this blog. And these past two weeks were a crushing transition period again – heavier than ever before so far. 

On this one specific subject i felt just so much pressure – as if my spirit was at war the whole time in order for the door of favor that i needed to be opened. It was constantly on my mind, and the weight of it even on my body was much beyond natural concern – it was a war. 

It’s so hard for me to understand still what this period of my life represents, and even what this new season that just broke in (because that is the good news – it did break in) is all about. This has been a whole big Esther season in my life. A year in preparations to meet with my beloved. Never had i known that the preparations would be so lonely, so painful and at the same time so sweet. It was so weird because people gave me this word of Esther several times over the last year – just over and over. One of my friends even gave me with some specific dates. 
Just about two days ago, in the high peek of my transitional pressure, a dear sister of mine from Jerusalem called me. I told her of this one situation where i was just in desperate need of the breakthrough of God, and asked her to pray. She answered me “Rod, you’re here like Esther – for such a time as this – and God will give you favor”. I almost dropped dead, because I remembered. I remembered the words that His very mouth had spoken through the other members of our Body and through His word… It’s just so clarifying to remember. 

On Sunday – as the world seemed to fall upon me, and i was at the point of not functioning right because of the weirdness that this transition brought to my whole system – i had a break-down before God. I just sat down, and cried. I could not say a word, not even come up with one single thing to cry to him concerning this situation that was making me feel like that. At the same time, all my feelings got mixed up, and i cried it all out together – from the salvation of my family to the permanence in the country – everything in a 5 minutes period of time. I felt like my daddy was just there, and he was telling me that this time i didn’t need to make any sense. After the 5 minutes break down, i just slept. Right before i went to sleep, i felt that i should fast for 3 days. 

The next morning i woke up feeling just so bad. I was feeling good about having let it out before God, but none of the pressure had gone away. It was just there. It was just war. I went to class, and couldn’t wait for it to finish – which is rare, because i love to study. Got back home, sat in front of the computer to read my e-mails, but there was just nothing i could do. I felt like – i have no idea what i felt. It was just too much. I decided to call it the day (even though it was like 1pm) and give the rest of my afternoon to the presence of God to try to figure out this thing. 

I laid down in my bed, and again, could not come with a single thing to pray for. Even though i had this specific situation, that was very clear, and now i can think of very articulated prayers about it – the most i could come up with was “Oh God, Oh God”. It was so weird, but in the midst of my complete failure and lack, right on my bed thinking “i can’t even pray” – i felt this strength rise up in me. I turned my computer to my Itunes, put on my head phones, and listened to Jason Upton’s Faith CD – and spoke in tongues. As i just couldn’t come up with anything, i just laid there, spoke in tongues, and felt all that confusion and war in my spirit. My mind could still only come up with “Oh God Oh God” – which i completely gave up pronouncing after a few failed attempts. I just kept praying in tongues. 

I don’t want to overdo the time of the experience, it might have been about a couple of hours – i’m not sure. It was so incredible though. I had never lived anything like this. All of a sudden, the specific faces and names and things like that started coming to my mind, and even though my carnality was scared before the human impossibility of what i needed to accomplish, the Spirit of God inside of me was just taking hold of the situation. I saw him opening the hearts of the people who would give me the “yes” on the particular situation that i needed. I saw him taking the keys and opening the doors in a way that no one could shut. and then i saw him giving me peace. And it was full. The more I prayed, the more I saw him conquering spiritual places where my feet would tread upon later. I cannot fully see how far this experience went, but i felt clear events on the next three months being prepared and legalized in the heavens. 

I got out of my bed a couple of hours later as a completely different person, in a completely different situation. I was just sure that all my impossibility had been overtaken by the all-possibility of Christ through the Holy Spirit.

My fast continued, and on the second day was when my friend reminded me of the Esther word – and then i realized i was on a Esther fast (in a sense) and that exactly on the third day of the fast, when i would break it, was the day that i needed to, let’s say, appear before the kings of this world and obtain more favor than i would be possible by normal means.

Well, i went to “appear”, and it was just awesome. It was easy, and even pleasing. There was some pressure there, out of the simple reality of life and routine – but all the war had already been dealt with. The same person who before treated me like a criminal, whose face i saw constantly while i prayed in my bed , this time treated me like a friend. The same thing that before was impossible, out of the same lips – now were not only possible, but a pleasure. It was God. He had broken in.

What i understood is that I had appeared before the King – so what could any world-authority as Naaman have to say against His Holy Spirit’s decrees? If i understood something about favor, or something about this whole year of my life that is in a sense turning a page – is that it is all about the Love of the Father, in the Sacrifice of Jesus, through the Spirit of Adoption. It is all about the fullness of God being available to us in the Holy Spirit’s presence. It’s all about the presence. Fighting my awkwardness and lack of knowing what to do before Him, going against the stream of my feelings and desires, being in that place where there is only his breakthrough or nothing – that is the “if i die, i die”. It is, out of sometimes pure necessity (because He brings necessity of Him to teach us to need him – and not just go around celebrating and preaching what we don’t have) that we just come before him with all our strength in the spirit – in those moments when our physical strength is almost gone. 

incredible. In the beginning of my walk with God, it was all about the presence of God. Then I grew up, and it was awesome about so many things, but i forgot about the presence of God. I forgot the most important – the Godhead present in me and with me – the Holy Spirit.

Turns out that just as I had heard about 6 months ago from my friend (and felt really awkward about it too): 6 months have past and i’ve realized the emptiness of something that was pulled from me. Little did i know that simple slumber of my own spirit, and lack of attention of my heart, was what pulled the yearning for His Holy Spirit out of the center of my life. Turns out i’m realizing how empty I am, and just desperately needy to be filled. Turns out hunger is waking me up again.

Funny, Holy Spirit. You had me go through the most incredible and difficult and good year of my life with you every second of the way -and only now I noticed you in it. Thank you so much for having showed me yourself. My eyes have seen you – and I’ll never again forget. You are my center oh God. I love you.

So This was just me setting my feelings on writing. I figure it would be good to post it here. I was not very clear or understandable, but i also figure i’m the only one who reads these blogs of mine – so that’s ok. I don’t need to make sense today.

Constantly low

OH God… what can i tell you today. Don’t let me forget.. 
Give maybe the words that will again pierce my heart. Let me just hear that small voice that makes my little heart bleed. It seems almost impossible to remember it sometimes. It seems almost impossible to remain in what you have spoken – because sometimes it was just so meek and mild, so soft and gentle, so loving – that any sound of agitation and mind-occupying routines silence your voice inside of me. 
How delicate is this balance Aba. Your voice is the voice of many waters – and it is louder than anything else. And yet it is mild enough for me to choose to hear it or not. Waterfalls are always loud, and there is always a fresh wind blowing around them. But how much you hear and how much you are refreshed always depends on how close to it you are. It always comes back to this, doesn’t it? How close am I today? Am I under the waters? Am I close enough to feel the freshness of the water that flies with the air? Or have I just turned the corner and answered my cellphone and put the finger in the ear not to hear the waters because it’s just not fitting into my routine? 

What an exercise it is to remain wounded for love. What an effort it is to remain lovesick. It’s so much easier to just go ahead and eat. Just like the Shulamite said “sustain me with raisins for I am lovesick”. Having a broken heart almost feels like being hungry sometimes – it’s just so uncomfortable. It’s just so present, and so mind-stealing. It’s so consuming. But we just say “sustain me with raisins” – and we eat the aged rugged fruits of time old vines that surely are sweet to our mouths, but that by far do not satisfy the sense of emptiness we feel inside. 

Isn’t this just something? In order for us to be constantly full, we have to be constantly empty. What a wrong view we have of emptiness. Oh God! One of the things that has, as far as my eyes can see, always marked the end of seasons of revival, was the transition in the hearts from a state of brokeness and desperation to a state of ‘let’s celebrate our revival’. I’m not saying i have to be a depressed Christian. But, when i celebrate his presence – do I celebrate the fulness ahead or the fulness behind? Do i stand in thankfulness for the things done, but just jump my strength out because I simply need another wave that will lead me deeper into Him – or does my dance say to the angels that gaze into His glory all day long “look how glorious we’ve become”??

Am i really willing to pay the price? It’s something so against the current to be hungry. Everyone is hungry when God is not doing anything, but when He starts doing something – is my heart sold out enough to keep hungry? Is my heart really desirous and desperate for what i still haven’t discovered of Him – that even if i knew more than anyone else, i would keep as small and full as a hungry homeless begging the heavens for food?

My heart and my body tremble for You tonight.
Feeling safe has become more unbearable to me than being exposed to myself in my total need of you.
Take my safety away so that I can enter into your kingdom, and submit to You, Prince of Peace.
Take it all away and make me remember each second of just how much I need you.
I don’t have strength to lay myself down – the most i can do is to cast myself into you.
Take me by the hand and lead me to where everything else fades
Take me to the lowest place.

I remember you tonight.  - Feed me with your presence, for I am lovesick.  

Remember??

A couple of days ago I came home from a long month of much activity. Getting back to a little bit more peaceful routine was good – and my heart started yearning for time with my Beloved again. 

I set at the coffee table where i lay my computer, and simply felt like remembering. I entered the website from the Voice of Many Waters (www.vozdemuitasaguas.com) and listened to some old messages from about 4 years ago. The moment the sound touched my years my heart bounced within my chest and i felt like a big old heavy rock was removed from a well inside my spirit. Only i realized the well was empty, and I felt emptier than ever in my life so far. 

So many things are shaking, so many things are falling, so many things are happening and life is just so consuming and demanding of my eyes and my attention, that I had simply forgotten to love You. How dreadful was the feeling of emptiness that I felt listening to that message. I realized I had forgotten about the presence… I had forgotten about Your presence… 

My heart struggled for a moment to simply love Him and be still. To be still in the unquiet feeling of unquenching love. To be still in the uneasiness of hunger. To just sit there and yearn for a moment. I remember when i was just starting to know You, how you would ask me to just love you – without words, songs, actions. Just let the love flow out of my heart. I remember all i felt was a wound in my heart of words that forced their way out of my heart but found no expression in something my mind could come up with. And for this awkward little moment, some years after those nights, i found those soundless words in my heart again. I found them again trying to come out and finding their only expression in the tears rolling down my face. 

Oh God, how I want this generation to know your glory. You know what? We’ve forgotten about the presence. We’re doing it all, and our hearts love Him more than everything, but let’s not forget the reason of all this. The reason we fight for justice, the reason we pray and fast – is so that his house can be built and established, and that is in order that HE would dwell among us in his presence of glory and light. 

Abba, we’re building the foundation with righteousness and justice. Come and sit upon us with the weight of your love. Come and consume us with the fire of your eyes. Let us know your presence more than we know anything else. Let us know the love of God more than we know the structures and causes, more than we know the business and the music, more than we know it all God – let us know the one thing that matters. You. 

It’s time that we yearn again. It’s time that we remember the simple times when we would just love God and He would just come down and embrace us because there was nothing else that could give us any stability. Let us just remember the times when we wouldn’t end a worship service thinking ‘oh, well, this was a good service’ when you didn’t come down in a mighty way and changed us. Let us remember the days when we would throw ourselves on the floor and scream until another droop of His love would touch our lips cracked and thirsty that would just suck all the water up faster than any ground. 

Last Saturday, maybe only one day after that whole remembering experience in front of my computer, as we worshipped God in church, i suddenly realized how stable his love is. Think about it and consider it when you pray next time, and let your mouth taste the sweetness of his everlasting love – because i broke through to a whole new level when i did it. For about half an hour i just stood in amazement of how constant His love is, and of how opened the door is for those who just want to come right in. the strongest expression of worship i could make up was ‘your love is eternal’ – but maybe that was more meaningful between us than much of the poetry and words that usually are around when I worship. 

I just understood that He is the same God, with the same yearning for me – at all time, weather i yearn or not. But at that moment, my yearning locked in His – and again, just like old times, His liquid present love embraced me and my body felt the fire burning and felt satisfied. Just a second that it maybe was – maybe half a minute, i was back in the fire of his holy passion for me. 

The more You touch me, Beloved, the more you fill me – the more the wound in my heart and the hole in my stomach get bigger and bigger. I’ve realized that this is a season to fill up my well with the waters that roll down my face when i yearn for You. 

“sustain me with raisins, for I am lovesick” song of solomon 2